10 September 2017

Very Retro Kidney Bean Salad


Here's another truly retro recipe I inherited from my truly retro mother. This one's a throwback to more sensible times when hardworking folk relied on real live nutrients, rather than caffeine and sugar, to get them through the afternoon's work. (Ever see your grandfather hoe those last three bean rows in the hot sun on a grande iced mocha latte? Ah, I didn't think so.) 

So good to have a batch of this chilled and waiting in the fridge. A little bowlful at your desk will power you past the brain slumps. Add a piece of cold leftover chicken and boom, you've got lunch. Handy dandy stuff, I'm telling you.

This stuff was also my trustiest survival tactic for morning sickness. I could always eat this even when I was too green-around-the-gills to choke down much else. The big protein boost made me feel better instantly, and kept my midwife happy with me, too. (And whaddyaknow, now they're saying beans may cure morning sickness!) 

Like any good retro granny dish, it a) uses stuff I usually have on hand, b) sounds too simple on paper to be any good, yet c) somehow works. I love how even the color palette feels vintage, like something a 1940's lady in a smart cotton dress might have carted to the church social in a snazzy picnic basket she scored with S&H Green Stamps. I mean, just a bite or two and I can almost hear my grandmother and her sisters chatting away in the next room. 


Very Retro Kidney Bean Salad


3 T sweet pickle relish
2 T Hellmann's mayonnaise
2 medium tomatoes, diced
2 stalks celery, diced
2 or 3 hard-boiled eggs, diced
1 15 oz can dark red kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1/4 - 1/2 tsp kosher salt, to taste
lots of freshly ground black pepper

Optional: a dash of lemon pepper, a few drops of Cholula or Tabasco sauce


Put the eggs in cold water and bring to a boil. Immediately turn off the heat, cover the pan, and let sit for exactly 8 minutes. Drain off hot water and cover the eggs in ice and water to cool them before peeling. Rinse the beans in a colander and leave to drain. Meanwhile, combine the mayonnaise and relish in a medium bowl (I always drip in a little drizzle of the relish brine for extra flavor). Stir in the tomatoes and the celery. Dice the eggs and let them cool on the chopping board for a few minutes, then gently fold them in. Stir in the beans, being careful not to mash them.

Add salt and pepper to taste. And more relish if you like. Maybe an extra can of beans in case company shows up.


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